the world is your oyster.

Maybe this is typical hormonal teenage behavior, but recently I've been feeling rather anxious and apprehensive of the future. I don't consider myself an optimist or a pessimist, but more of a realist.
I'd like to be more optimistic, but realistically that's not going to happen. 
Although I consider myself a realist, a part of me wishes "2012" will happen.
Yes, I want an apocalypse.
 Because seriously, I don't think can handle the pressure of the preliminaries, assessments and worst of all HSC. I know I wouldn't be having these mental breakdowns if I've prepared for it, but seeing the rate that I'm studying now, and the effort I put in to my work, I'm doomed to fail. On Monday I had a moment of self reflection and come to realise how much I've fallen behind. This wasn't a "bing! light bulb" kind of thing, I was actually organising my school books and realised how much I didn't remember. So anyways, like for most situations I had an internal "therapy session" and I am now somewhat determined and motivated to use the last seven days of the holidays to catch up on as much as I can!

I just realised that the title doesn't really suit the emotional content of this blog post.